Lactation Station

     When browsing through the latest edition of Gastronomica, I stumbled upon an interesting find: an article about...  human breast milk tasting?!!  After stifling my initial reaction, I gathered the courage to read more; and, I guess my primordial instincts came free because I have to admit that I was rather intrigued. 

   

     The author, Charles Reeve, talks about why most Western Civilizations are disgusted by the thought of lactation.  Perhaps it's the confusion of the breast as a sexual object versus a maternal one.  Or maybe it's just the thought of bodily fluids flowing from private orifices. Regardless, milk is packed with vital nutrients like choline to stimulate a baby's growth and learning.  But I digress.... back to the tasting....

     Jess Dobkin, a controversial Canadian artist, has provided an answer.  She ingeniously set up a Breast Milk Tasting Bar, complete with six women's pasteurized breast milk to sample and Cheerios to nibble.  The display was hosted at Ontario's College of Art and Design (OCAD) in 2006, and more than 300 people attended.  "Beer critic, Jon Filson, gamely opinioned, 'Breast milk has a silky mouthfeel, leaving a slight film-but much less even than the skimmest milk from a cow.'"

     If you ever have the itch to sip on some human breast milk, a Lactation Station may be waiting just around the corner!

The Drunk Files

It's happened to most of us at one time or another. Suddenly we feel either outrageously courageous or uncharacteristically sporatic... and then we do it. We compile the rawest (most regrettable) message we're able to, punch in the name of the one person who has no business seeing it, then click... it's SENT!

Clearly, this sore phenomena is common among inebriated internet surfers. But sober individuals too may suffer. The New York Times interviewed one such person. She was prescribed zolpidem (commonly known as Ambien) to combat insomnia. To her knowledge, the drug was successful and allowed her to sleep all night. What she didn't know was that she was waking for short periods in the middle of the night, a condition called sleep apnea. In the morning she had no recollection of these brief wakings nor what she may have done during them. Well, you guessed it... she flooded the inboxes of random people from her contact list during these middle-of-the-night bouts of awakeness.

So, let's thank google for having our backs. Introducing, Mail Goggles. One can activate Mail Goggles in his or her google email (Gmail) account. Gmail asks for a time range during the day or night when you may not be "in the right state of mind" to send an email. Then, if you compose an email during these vulnerable hours and click send, Mail Goggles will lightly let you know "It's that time of the day. Gmail aims to help you in many ways. Are you sure you want to send this?" The reader is then assigned five simple math problems that are to be completed within 60 seconds. If completed correctly and in a timely fashion, off goes your email in to cyberspace. But if you fail, Gmail will suggest, "Water and bed for you." And you are saved until the morning when you see the horrid draft still pulled up on your desktop.

Pablo Picasso: PIMP

Generally, I presume that most people have a familiarity for Pablo Picasso. While I consider myself to be only vaguely acquainted with his works, I find his personal life much more intriguing. Picasso had his share of women, and remnants of them live on in his masterpieces.

Fernanande Olivier

Nude in an Armchair, 1909

Fernande Olivier, "La Belle Fernanande," is remembered as Picasso's first lover. She grew up in Paris and made a living as a nude model (and later, prostitute.) Olivier was married to someone else the entiretly of her seven year relationship with Picasso. However, when he prohibited her from modeling for other people, she said "nuh uh!" and ended their affair.

Marcelle Humbert

I Love Eva, 1912

Picasso rebounded with Marcelle Humbert, who sometimes went by the name Eva Gouel. Not much is recorded of her life, but we do know that she impacted Picasso in a big big way. Picasso was devastated when she died an early death, presumably due to tuberculois. Humbert very well may have been Picasso's "first true love," as he incorperated the words "I Love Eva" into some of his paintings.

Olga Khokhlova

Olga con Mantilla, 1917

I admit, this post started as a mere autobiography of Olga Khokhlova. But as I delved further into her complex life and vivacious acquaintances, I couldn't help but to commend Picasso for his acute taste in women. Thus began an unabashed stalkery of Picasso's other companions. But I digress.

Olga met Picasso at the Théâtre du Châlet for the ballet Parrade. Picasso designed the costumes for the show and Olga was one of the ballet dancers. The two hit it off and soon Olga moved to Barcelona to live with Picasso. About a year later, the two wed and Olga gave birth to Picasso's first child, Paulo.

Thereafter, their relationshp began to deteriorate due to rumors of infidelity, so Olga filed for divorce and moved with Paulo to the South of France. Picasso refused to split his wealth with Olga according to French law, and as a result they were in legal wedlock until Olga's death in 1955.

Marie-Thérése Walter

Marie-Thérése Walter, 1937

Marie-Thérése Walter was Picasso's young mistress who ultimately broke up his marriage with Olga. She was only 17 when Picasso began courting her. They met at the French shopping center, Galeries Lafayette in Paris (teens will always be mallrats, I suppose.)

Marie conceived Picasso's first daughter, Maya and it is rumored that Marie became jealous of one of Picasso's muses, Dora Maar. When the two accidently met in Picasso's sutdio, he suggested that they "fight" for him. The two women started wrestling, which quickly progressed to a steamy threesome with Picasso. Marie-Thérése and Picasso split after ten years of romance, but Picasso continued to support her financially. Four years after Picasso's death, Marie hanged herself in the garage of her home in the South of France.

Dora Maar

Dora Maar au Chat, 1941

Henriette Theodora Markovitch, alias Dora Maar has always been an inspiration to me. Although she was also an avid poet and painter, I especially appreciate her for her dark and trepid photographs. Dora was no less than what we would now categorize as an "emo" self-mutilator. She was very in touch with her emotions, especially the despondent ones. Perhaps she suffered such unrelenting melancholy because she was infertile.

Nonetheless, Picasso was intrigued by her and she turned out to be his most vauable muse. His painting of her, Dora Maar au Chat was auctioned at the Sotheby's, one of the oldest auction houses still running, for $95,216,000, making it the world's second most expensive painting ever sold at auction. Mind you, it was only behind Picasso's other work, Boy with a Pide (the Young Apprentice), which sold for $104.1 million. Picasso, the moneymaker.

Francoise Gilot

Unknown

Francoise Gilot, a young artist and law student, met Picasso when she was 21 and he was 61. She birthed Picasso's third and fourth children, Claude and Paloma. Francoise and Picasso split roughly nine years later, and Gilot went on to marry Jonas Salk, the "polio vaccine pioneer." However, she didn't leave Picasso quietly. Eleven years after their separation, she wrote a revealing book, Life with Picasso, so divulging that Picasso himself took legal action to stop its publication (he was denied.)

Jacqueline Roque

Jacqueline with Flowers, 1954

Picasso met Jacqueline Rogue in 1953, the year that Francoise left him. Eight years later, Picasso proposed and Jacqueline became his second wife. The two had no children, and over the span of the 20 years she spent with him, he created more than 400 portraits of her. The two stayed together until Picasso's tragic death at a dinner the two were hosting in their home April 7, 1983. Jacqueline, the last of Picasso's lovers, too took her own life by gunshot three years later.

To conclude, Pablo Picasso, birthname: Pablo Diego José Santiago Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Crispin Crispiniano de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santisima Trinidad Ruiz Blasco y Picasso was an extraordinary man who never lacked women. My only regret is that he never dated my grandmother (nevermind the 36 year age difference nor the undeniably inconduicive location...) Oh, sigh. How I would love to be an offspring of the terribly talented Pablo Picasso.